Awhile ago, my son was bullied in school. His friends (people he calls friends!) ganged up on him and started beating him. When my friend’s daughter, who is in the same school, told us what had happened, it was like something out of the movies.
Here they are, 2 boys holding up my son while 2 others were head butting him and punching him in the stomach. Another was at the side line shouting at them to hold him tight, don’t let him go. They pulled him to a pole and banged his head on it. My son struggled and finally got a way when he kicked one boy in the leg.
How would you feel as a mother/father hearing all this?
I wanted to whack every one of those boys but I knew if I did, it would be a police case. I decided to let the teacher handle the situation. The problem resolved itself because the bullies left for Australia at the end of that week for good. I decided to let it go. However, the boy who was yelling from the side line is still in the school and is still my son’s friend. Yes, my son still calls this boy, friend.
I was so mad at first. How could he continue to be friends with a boy who didn’t help him but urged the others on? I even distanced myself from his mother who I wanted to be friends with in the beginning. Then, a little voice whispered, “Didn’t you teach him to forgive those who have wronged him?
YES, I did.
How can I teach my children forgiveness if I react this way? In anger, I scolded him for forgiving this boy. I wouldn’t be practicing what I preached, right?
Forgiveness is the hardest act of love. Jesus Christ did just that. He came, He loved, He healed,and He cared then He carried the cross to Calvary so that He can be nailed to it, taking our sins upon Himself so that we can be set free by this sacrifice of love. We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. If we can learn to forgive our trespassers the world would be a better place to live in because everyone will be learning to be a better neighbor.
My son taught me a lesson in forgiveness. He forgave his friend for the wrong done to him and he continued to be friends with the boy. I am both shamed and humbled by this lesson from an 11 year old.
1 comment:
As an adult, I have so many hang-ups I hope I never pass to my children. The courage to speak the truth without fear nor favour, trying do something without fear of failure, loving and trusting unconditionally, their inability to hold grudges (and to forgive). Their wonder at the smallest thing the world has to offer them (like snails and butterflies), their ability to find joy in the simplest things (playing with water and being read to) and most of all being impartial as they are sex, race, color, age blind.
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